Earning vs Living

What do ppl live for?

To earn money...

Get educated since young,

Find a job,

Earn money till the day you can retire...

Why do ppl earn money?

To live a better life...

When you have a Good life, you'll always aiming for a better life,

so we're forever living for a better life...

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Who is the richer person?

A person driving Merz, living in a terrace house

or

A person driving Myvi, living in a Semi-D?

Who has a higher status in life?

A person selling 'bak kua', living in a bungalow

or

A person being a General manager, living in a Semi-D?

Who is better of?

A person being a Tauke with only education up to PMR, driving 30k vehicle

or

A person being an Accountant holding a Degree, driving 10k vehicle?

or should i ask,

who is the luckier ones?

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In this century,

what is the normal age to start working?

earning money to loan for car?

earning money to loan for house?

earning money for the parent who had been working hard for the past 50 years?

earning money for the children & owned family?

22?

23?

i guess this shall be the normal age, of a person to finish his/her degree...

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What is the expectation of parent to their child or children?

Or should i say different children are expected to have a different ways?

So,

is it the child whom are expected more should live a tougher life?

that his/her siblings can enjoy the benefits?

Yes, this life is so unfair..

Anyway, you still have to live on it...

The things you felt unfair will be balanced of by other things...

God is fair...

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I'm not as good as what ppl see

I can be evil too

I do get jealous

I do get angry

I do cry for unfairness to me

I do think why are problems coming to me

why cant i go overseas for studies?

why cant i get the course i like?

why cant i shout out what i dislike?

why should i always follow what are set for me that they think is the best way for everyone?

Yea, it's me!!!

I think a lot!!!

but i never tell

coz there will have no changes even i tell

You know i wanted to go overseas for studies!!

You know i wanted to go for other course!!

You know i like the life of going into Uni!!

So?

Yet i have to end my studying life in Kuching, taking a course i had no idea what it is at first in College...

ACCA

a course expected to have a high pay when you're out for work

a course that has high demand

a course that is cheap

a course that requires short period of time to finish

that's what i knew about ACCA when i first entered into it

Yet,

sth good is not easy to be achieved

Don't expect me to finish ACCA in 2 years

Don't expect me to work as an Accountant holding ACCA in 2010

Don't expect too much in me!!!

Don't think i'm a good daughter

Don't think i'm a good sister

Don't think i'm a good friend

Cause i'd tired of my style of living

I want to be as selfish as you

I want to be as cruel as you

I want to be as happy as you

I don't want to be a kind person

I don't want to be a caring person

I don't want to be a obedient person

Coz i'm not at all!!!

i know about myself

Kind ppl are always being bullied

Caring ppl are always being forgotten

Obedient ppl are always living in ppl's life

So, i dont want to be one of them

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I'm a good daughter,

if i help you to soften your burden?

or

if i take care of your dignity?

I'm a good sister,

if i go for degree in overseas?

or

if i help to take care of the family?

I''m a good friend,

if i care about your feeling?

or

if i telling you the truth but hurt you to the deepest?

I'm a good person,

if i tell lies to let everything goes on smoothly?

or

if i tell all the truths but let everything turn the other way round that i also dono if it's better?

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Who shall be located at the first?

ownself?

family?

friend?

boyfren?

i guess family will forever be the first...

Cause i live for them

as they lived for me

if my parent are not around,

i can end my life easily at anywhere, anytime without any consequences that i need to thk of..

To be honest,

i'd tired of living

at anytime the end of the day comes,

i'll never be regret of anything but goes of happily

as long as my parent won't feel sad about that

coz i know they love me more than anyone else in this world

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anyway,

thking of the ppl worse than me,

i'm so much better...

that's is why i'm still living

to thank the God

to thank my family

to thank the ppl around me who falls me down & make me up again

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So,

wad is the conclusion to be made from this post?

i also dono...

a talk with the ppl a met just now, my family, my fren & myself

that is what came out to myself

that i felt it's a mess

so wrote out here to clear it out for myself & you all..

That,

i'm not as good as you think

I'm worse than what you think i'm bad at

Don't expect too much in me

cause expectation makes ppl disappointed

I live for my own

I'm selfish

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what's now?

yeap,

my life is to study & earn money?

for what?

for myself

not getting annoyed for spending her bloody earnings

not getting scolded for delaying my course

not getting complaint for not starting to work in age of 20

So, everyone is happy now

i don't live for ppl anymore

i live for myself

From now on,

description of

'you always live for others making yrself into trouble.. they succeeded, they will never rmb you anymore'

shall be deleted from your mind on me!

coz i said!

i don live for others!

i live for myself coz i'm selfish~

After this,

everyone shall be happy..

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story ends